A. Blinken The first snows of winter settled into the upper canyons, and as Granny Wise once told me that old dogs and old people die when the weather turns, I bought some of that great toffee stuff and a small bottle of brandy, and slipped my jalopy into 4wd. The road was slick, but I followed tracks, and there was a car in the yard, a friend of Granny=s from the bad old mining camp days, and smoke rose from the Asweat-lodge@ as Granny called the tiny sauna behind the barn. I decided to leave the candy and brandy on the hood of the car, but Marianne and Granny raced out of the house hobbling as fast as they could through a foot of snow, barefoot and naked except for a towel. Granny waved, Acome on, boy, bring the bottle!@ I followed them into the steamy heat of the sauna, and they insisted I get nude, which I wouldn=t quite, but it didn=t stop them. Marianne is younger than Granny, about 75. She=s smart and busy and tough and is plump in that old-lady way. I looked mostly at the floor. They drank the brandy and laughed and chatted like bawdy girls; I was a third wheel and tried to leave but Marianne insisted I stay as Aeye candy@. I reminded her I was married, and she said Athen it=s probably been awhile for you, too!@ Then, they hooted and howled over a story from fifty years ago about a guy who couldn=t afford a wife, so he chose a young heifer every year to be his favorite. Marianne said, APa asked him if he was looking for just the right one to settle down with. Worst thing was, nobody would buy any beef from him!@ They snorted and snickered, but I was disgusted. Granny noticed me, Ahey, A.B., you can laugh at old Ben the Bull if you want, but don=t judge him.@ I shook my head, Asome things are just disgusting and wrong.@ Granny said, Athat may be, and if you think so, don=t do them, but don=t judge other people.@ I shrugged and looked longingly at my clothes. Granny went on, Aback when I was a young Irish girl, before I became Aaron=s bride and a non-practicing Jew, the nuns told us this story. There was a young priest in a small village in Ireland. One evening the butcher came to confession; the priest knew it was the butcher by his voice. The butcher confessed an almost uncontrollable lust for the young red-haired wife of his neighbor. He spied on her when he could, and sneaked out in the night to watch through the window as she bathed by lantern light in a copper tub. The young priest admonished the man and gave him a heavy penance. He was disgusted that the ugly old butcher should lust for the young wife. On leaving the church the priest saw an old woman crossing the cobble street ahead of him. She was stooped, back bent, a hump on her shoulders covered by a tattered shawl, and she had one leg frozen by painful arthritis, and walked with a limp at the hip. Something about the hump under the shawl, and the rhythmic humping of her walk, overcame the young priest. He felt his fish stiffen and his heart pound, he found himself following the old woman, trying to get closer to catch her scent. His hands ached to feel her misshapen hips, he yearned to press himself against her as she walked. She bumped along unaware of him, and he came up behind her wracked by passion, and he feared he might try to have his way with her, but just as he reached her she turned around and, sure enough, there was the shining, bearded face of Our Lord Jesus. The young priest was horrified, he knew Our Lord saw right through his black trousers to his leaping frog. He tried to cover himself, and Jesus said gently, >I did not send you to judge in my stead, only to forgive,= and then he was gone.@ I said, ANuns told you this story?@ AIrish nuns. In those days they would go to lengths to illustrate a point of good and evil,@ Granny said, Athey had time to polish their material. Anyway, the point is, it isn=t for you to judge the hearts of others.@ I nodded. AAnd,@ Marianne said, Anow you know you=re forgiven by Our Lord for those lusty thoughts you=ve been having about me, sitting here all naked and gleaming with sweat.@ The bitter cold air felt clean and good, even with their hoots pelting my back out the door. I pulled my clothes on by the barn, dancing in the snow, and ran shivering and barefoot to my truck. On the ride down the hill I resolved that from now on I would call before driving all the way up to Granny=s.