I’m very happy to have this chance to talk with my name withheld because I’d be fired if people knew who I was. Thank you, A.B., you are probably the only person I know I would trust like this.

I am in a position to know a good bit about how our country works, and I’m here to tell you the truth.

Many people think this is the land of the free. I doubt it ever was. It certainly is not now.

First of all if you have an idea that you own your land or your house, grieve, because you do not. You might be paying a bank for the house, but the king owns it.

You pay rent to the king every year, called "property tax." If you want to make any changes to the king’s property, you have to get permission from his minister, who will issue a "building permit."

Because the king likes wealthy people, he passes laws that protect them and help them prosper.

For example, did you know that if you go out into your yard and bury your dead dog (some places require a permit to bury a dead pet in the king’s yard) and discover gold, it’s possible you don’t own it. The mineral rights could be owned by any one, even the Federal Land Bank.

If you violate the king’s rules, or the rules of his friends, you’ll lose your land. They’ll take it and sell it at a nice price to someone with more money.

I have friends who are ministers of the king and can take your children. You can often get them back, for a price.

I have friends who can take your dog, your cow, your horse, and never give them back.

Many people don’t know that cops can search your car without permission and without a warrant if they can make any case at all that they saw or smelled something.  If, by some slight chance you can prove they searched you without probable cause, nothing will happen to them, and it will probably not even help you.

Many people are shocked to discover that they can be arrested and jailed without being told why. You can be jailed without seeing an attorney. They only have to provide you with an attorney if they question you, no questions, no attorney.

They can also take your cell phone and your computer and go through and record your information. They can take anything from you which might be evidence, and when they have it, cops can take your things home with them, share them with their children, even destroy them, so long as they bring what’s left back.

If they take a gun from you, it will cost thousands too much in fees for you to get it back, and very likely, it will be given or sold cheaply to... a cop.

People are dismayed to learn that much of what they wish to use to explain their actions are not germane to the charge, and not evidence, and will not be heard.

They are shocked at how little they are allowed to say under questioning by the prosecution. This is not an accident!

Tomorrow morning I will go to work on behalf of the king. I know my job and I know the law.

I know there are things you might do to protect yourself from me, but I won’t tell you about them.

I’ll be civil, so that when I give you bad news and you get angry I can make you look dangerous and irrational.

There are special laws that protect me, and two people in our office are deputized to carry guns.

I’ll tell you about the guns, and you’ll always calm down. And you should: those two people are old and excitable and you could accidentally be killed.

If you are killed, nothing will happen to them.

If you throw a pencil at them, you will be charged with many felonies.

The court costs, fees and fines will destroy your family. If you do not pay, I will take your land.

My friends and I have carefully created rationales for what we do.

We don’t make the law. Your legislators make the law. Your king’s ministers interpret the law.

We can’t make an exception in your case, we would have to do that for everyone.

If we didn’t regulate you, who knows what you would do. There would be social decline, filth in the streets, substandard buildings, fences too close to the street, children without supervision, animals living in squalor, drunkards driving without insurance, women selling their bodies, addicts dying on the doorsteps of decent businessmen.

We explain these things to ourselves, to each other, and to you. These are the explanations we were given by the king.

Forgive me. Be nice to me, I’ll help you when I can.

Your Public Servant