Granny Tales part V
A. Blinken…
A.B.: Oh, ah… I guess how life never goes where you think it will.
Granny: DING Wrong. Tally?
Tally: Well, a woman who’s having a baby needs family and a warm place.
Granny: Well, that’s right, that’s a big part of it. A.B., what else does this story mean?
(silence, throat clearing)
Granny: It’s full of meanings like candy fruit in a rum cake. Family is as family does: my hearth is still open to Edward Edward’s kin. It was not a name, not even ancestors that made us family, it was working, eating, celebrating, laughing, and birthing. It was doing the things of everyday life and doing them fairly and honestly, with consideration. Sharing is what made us kin. Now, that kinship is subject to the same things otherwise: who knows what would have happened if Edward’s son in law had gotten out of prison and come back, resenting Aaron and me and our youngers. Maybe there would have been fighting, maybe we would have parted enemies, though I have to say, the man’s primary crime was being an Indian in Nevada. After seventy-eight years of reason, figuring 12 to be the age of reason, I can say this: nothing in this life is lasting, except memories of people and the things you did with them. You should be mindful of this in two ways: first, take time to craft your relations, we make our memories minute to minute, that’s how you should live, in a way to make a memory you want to keep. Also, forgive and forget. People do things bad, we all do. At some point, flush your memory of the crap moments. Second: the gold we found at the Edward’s cabin is gone. Aaron and I took it to town and sold it and used the money as food and drink and baubles for the kids. The memories I have of Erma and her family still shine in me. They might be gone from me, or gone from earth, but in my heart they are still dear, and the feelings I have for them will live as long as I do, and now, maybe a bit longer in you two. Just remember this: if you meet someone named Edwards, treat them fair, they might be kin. The story means something else to you two. What is it?
(silence)
Granny: Oh, sweet Jesus Karma, please tell me one of you cabbage heads see some metaphor here!
Tally: Yeah, you want me to get along with cousin Butthead.
Granny: That’s right! Let’s hear you say somethin’ Mr. Internet Blabbermouth.
A.B. : I had no idea you would use this opportunity to turn this whole thing back on me, Granny. I’m perfectly willing to help Tally all I can, though times are kind of tough…
Granny: You had no idea? You said, "tell me a story, Granny. Show us how old and wise you are. I want your blah blah in your own blah blah." Did you think that meant I’d tell a story that was wise in a way you didn’t need it? For Crying-Out-in-the-Night! You’re embarrassing yourself, boy, and I want to see this in your stories just like it is! Try again, and please, I’m fightin’ the urge to put you out of your misery, so try hard.
A.B.: Yeah! All right, I get it. Tally, I’m sorry. I’ve been a jerk.
Tally: Tomy is a jerk, you’ve been a prick.
A.B.: You’re right. I haven’t been very good kin.
Tally: You freakin’ paid me twenty dollars to go away! That’s way past "not very good kin".
A.B.: You’ve been as much fun as a hooking my crotch on a barbwire fence. You can’t say one nice thing to me!
Tally: You talked trash about me first! You used my screw-up in your stupid bullshit on the internet where anyone could read it. Do you know what my life would be like if I was still in town? Everyone I know has read your crap about me, they passed it around in an email, I got like fifty copies of it. Every time I sent one to the trash I stabbed you in the heart, you prick. I’m glad I don’t have a computer or cell phone up here. I had to run away up here because of you!
A.B.: I’m sorry! I didn’t know that would happen. I was using your story in a more universal sense, I didn’t mean to hurt you individually.
Tally: Bullshit! You haven’t done anything to make it up to me. You think chocolate milk makes up for it? You still treat me like a tramp with weeping herpes.
A.B.: Fine! What do you want? Help me make it up to you, I’m honestly sorry.
(silence)
Granny: Tally, I can see your wheels turning, girl. Just tell A.B. what you really need from him and forget stereo equipment.
Tally: I need friends! I was stupid. Tomy made me feel grown up, he didn’t treat me like a retard. We had sex, that’s all, I didn’t mean to start a baby. My mother hates me, my friends think I’m a tramp, if I go to church everyone looks at me all kindly forgiving and it just creeps me out. I need friends!
Granny: You need family. There, you go, A.B., that’s how you make it up, and, ain’t that handy! While you’re making nugget memories for your old age, you’ll also be helping Tally and her kind, and making family for you and your Honey. See how life can work out! Say something, boy.
A.B.: I am your family, Tally, sorry about the past. Forgive me and I’ll do better.
Tally: O.K. Are you going to be wanting a hug, because a lot of old guys are hugging me these days and I know what they’re really doing.
A.B.: No, I’m the kind of family that doesn’t hug like that.
Tally: That isn’t what I’ve heard.
A.B.: I thought we were going to forgive and forget.
Tally: It’s such an easy thing to dis you over. Oh, well, I guess I can let it go.
Granny: That’s what makes a Granny smile. You’ll see, Tally, A.B. can be straight as a string and solid as an oak. OK, boy, is that enough lolly gas for you, or do you want another story?
A.B.: I sort of feel like I’ve got as much wisdom as I can use for the day.
Granny: Oh, all right, just a little more, then. Everyone go to the bog as has to.
Tally: I’m good.
A.B.: I don’t.
Granny: I do. I think I might have the flux. There’s some tongue hanging out in the cold box, A.B., it should be just right for slicing. Tally, cut some of that bread in the icebox, use the brown bread. Get out some of that horseradish, too. Shred a little of that cabbage, we’ll put salt and vinegar on it. I’ll be back in a little while.
(The recorder goes off.)
End of Granny Tales Part v
Continued in Granny Tales Part vi
